if i was harry, i would have stuck a letter down the front of my pants and ran out on the front lawn bc
- the dursleys aren’t gonna chase me and cause a scene, it’d upset their pristine reputation
- if they DID chase me out, they’d have to put their hand down my pants to get to the letter and i’d just start screaming STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER and fuck up their repuation for real
you would kill voldemort in first year at that rate
I went to the hardware store with my mom today to get some black caulk, but we couldn’t find any so my mom asked this black guy who worked there if he had “the big black cock.” As soon as she said it she just turned away and left the store. The guy and I just laughed really hard for like five hours.